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the love affair with "busy"

11/26/2014

When was the last time you asked someone how they were doing and the answer they gave you didn't in some way express how busy they were? When was the last time you were asked the same question and gave an answer that didn't involve how busy you were?

Personally, I have noticed that so much of our lives are wrapped up in expressing to others or to ourselves just how busy we are. Sure, this world requires a lot of work to stay a float-that's absolutely true. But when we enhance this fact by driving it home to our brains just how busy we are all the time we are sending a very dangerous message to our brains, bodies, hearts; we are sending a message of STRESS. The constant message of stress is a dangerous one to make habit. I'm not going to get in to the nitty gritty of the negative effects of stress on your body because, a) you've probably heard many of them b) if you google "negative effects of stress" you will have plenty of reading material.

But what I do want to look at is, why do we love "busy"? After much thought about how I fall in to the trap of claiming busy-I have realized this: our brains want something to process....all. the. time. And if we dont give it to them they will figure something else out for themselves and run with it. Therefore being busy is present when we mindlessly move through our to do list and if we aren't mindful our brain wants something to do so it latches on to busy and claims it...and runs with it...and grows it...until you feel like you are busy. Not just busy for now but busy for-ever-busy is who you are!

I have made a decision for my own life, I try to be mindful and give air time to the other things I am-other than busy. When busy is a real thing in my life I embrace it for what it is but I can no longer let it infiltrate the rest of my life. Because as humans we are so much more than our stress-we are grocery shoppers picking out the perfect red bell pepper, we are parents teaching our kids how to tie their shoes, we are runners sweating it out on the treadmill to our favorite song-to many all of these things can become "busy" and eventually "stress" if we aren't watching. Sometimes it just what it is....and a lot of the times it is so much more than "BUSY". If you would like to learn some tools to help you transition from busy to living I can help you!

Give me a call or shoot me an email and we can start getting your life back from busy!

*Click photo for photo credit

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Mindfulness....what is it?

11/5/2014

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If you have taken a second to look around my website you may have noticed that I am a big fan of "mindfulness"; it is true-I love mindfulness. I use it personally in my day to day life/relationships with others and I use it with my teen and adult clients as well. This is all well and good if you have previous experience with mindfulness-but if you don't? You have no idea what I am talking about. I wanted to take a second to address the question, "what is mindfulness"? Some have asked me if it is a religion? A cult practice? A bunch of hocus pocus?

Great questions!

Mindfulness is not a religion, a cult or many scientific studies support that it isn't hocus pocus either. Mindfulness originated in ancient meditative practices but it is very applicable to our modern world.

According to John Kabat-Zinn Mindfulness is:
"mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non judgmentally."

That's a big statement but let's break it down in to smaller bits. When I am working with a client I often notice that people are troubled by thoughts that are not in the moment; often they are possible outcomes that may be days and even years away-or not at all. So when using mindfulness with my clients I try to pause the thoughts and assist the client in paying attention to the moment we are in in a calm and supported way. Next, I help them look at their feelings and thoughts that were just running wild-we take a calm approach at looking at how the thoughts are real in this moment-and most of all we are kind to ourselves for thinking those thoughts-you wouldn't believe just how judgmental we can be...to ourselves!

Still a bit stumped?

Above describes the overarching goal of using mindfulness in therapy-but you may be wondering HOW?

Well, there are a number of ways to slow down the anxiety in our brain. The most common ones I use are various/specific meditation techniques (both in and out of the office), helping clients cultivate gratitude for themselves and the present moment and becoming more aware of how our body stores stress on a daily basis-just to name a few. These are just some of the techniques I use in order to help people become in control of their thoughts instead of their thoughts controlling their life.

Ok you've made it this far, you may be wondering WHY?
Have you ever driven home and not remembered anything about how you go there? Or have you had a strange stomachache or a twitchy eye that you can't escape? Have you found yourself looking everywhere for your missing cell phone only to realize that you are talking on the missing cell phone?

You wouldn't believe how good this can feel! Some positive results of mindfulness can be:

Recognize, slow down or stop automatic and habitual reactions.
Respond more effectively to complex or difficult situations.
See situations more clearly
Become more creative
Achieve balance and resilience at work and at home

(Courtesy of Mindfulnet.org)

Still have questions? Do you think you could benefit from mindfulness?
Feel free to give me a call for a free phone consultation!

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