Sarah Fields, MFT
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Eye Movement Desensitization and REprocessing...EMDR

2/9/2016

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When I first learned about EMDR I was very interested but also mystified by the idea of how a series of eye movements could truly help my clients gain freedom from memories that have haunted them as well as impacted their daily lives for years. However, after researching further I was able to learn the intricacies of this powerful therapeutic tool. 

The way I like to explain EMDR is thinking of it as a re-organization of the painful memory in the brain. When something traumatic happens our brain stores it in a way that any time we think of it (or the memory is triggered by a real time experience) we are transported right back to that moment of trauma. If you have ever experienced this you can vouch for just how terrible this can feel.

What EMDR does is it takes that memory and "files" it in the part of the brain that realizes the trauma is not re-occurring and in this moment you are safe. This is a liberating shift that can help you move forward with your life in a whole new way.

Here are some further explanations on what EMDR is and how it works!

According to the EMDR International Association Website:

No one knows how any form of psychotherapy works neurobiologically or in the brain. However, we do know that when a person is very upset, their brain cannot process information as it does ordinarily. One moment becomes "frozen in time," and remembering a trauma may feel as bad as going through it the first time because the images, sounds, smells, and feelings haven’t changed. Such memories have a lasting negative effect that interferes with the way a person sees the world and the way they relate to other people.


EMDR seems to have a direct effect on the way that the brain processes information. Normal information processing is resumed, so following a successful EMDR session, a person no longer relives the images, sounds, and feelings when the event is brought to mind. You still remember what happened, but it is less upsetting. Many types of therapy have similar goals. However, EMDR appears to be similar to what occurs naturally during dreaming or REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. Therefore, EMDR can be thought of as a physiologically based therapy that helps a person see disturbing material in a new and less distressing way.

From The EMDR Institute:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences.  Repeated studies show that by using EMDR people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal.  EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma.  When you cut your hand, your body works to close the wound.  If a foreign object or repeated injury irritates the wound, it festers and causes pain.  Once the block is removed, healing resumes.  EMDR therapy demonstrates that a similar sequence of events occurs with mental processes.  The brain’s information processing system naturally moves toward mental health.  If the system is blocked or imbalanced by the impact of a disturbing event, the emotional wound festers and can cause intense suffering.  Once the block is removed, healing resumes.  Using the detailed protocols and procedures learned in EMDR training sessions, clinicians help clients activate their natural healing processes.
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It's all good...is it?

5/28/2015

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Life can be a real challenge sometimes and regardless of how well other people appear to be doing-we all go through trying times. All of us. The thread that runs through all of the work I do with my clients is the belief that our reaction to what life gives us is what defines us and that the most difficult moments in life are usually our best teachers and can enhance our life in ways we never thought possible.

A passage from Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now: A Guide To Spiritual Enlightenment", describes this beautifully:

    "There are cycles of success, when things come to you and thrive, and cycles     of failure, when they wither or disintigrate and you have to let them go in
       
    order to make room for new things to arise, or for transformation to                     happen..."

    "...It is not true that the up cycle is good and the down cycle bad, except in the     mind's judgement. Growth is usually considered positive, but nothing can             grow forever. If growth, of whatever kind, were to go on and on, it would             eventually become monstrous and destructive. Dissolution is needed for new     growth to happen. One cannot exist without the other."

Yes, it is true that some seasons of life are more desirable than others but they all have their purpose in the story of our life. My goal is to help my clients find purpose in their pain and help them see how this difficult moment in their life has the ability to help them live a fuller and more authentic life.

Are you curious as to how this belief could apply to your life? Feel free to contact me and we can discuss how we can work together towards this goal.
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to divorce or not to divorce, that is the question

2/5/2015

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I heard something interesting on the TODAY show last week-January is known as National Divorce Month. Why you may ask? It is because filing for divorce spikes in January-talk about a new start for the New Year. But sometimes the line between staying together and divorcing is blurry at best. I often hear from people that they hesitate to come to couples therapy because they don't necessarily want to divorce, when I ask for more clarity on this thought people often tell me that they think that couples counseling is for couples that are inevitably headed towards divorce. Now let me say right now, I could not disagree with this thought more. Yes, some couples that come to see me do end up divorcing but many do not.

In my view couples therapy is a perfect opportunity to have an unbiased third party observe, clarify and sometimes be referee in the middle of fights you have seemingly had a thousand times. Much of the time the choice to divorce is not a crystal clear choice, there are children, feelings, history and many other things to consider. I like to provide the couples that come to see me with a break in the busy day to day to consider these factors, re-connect with one another and move forward in a direction that they have decided together.

If this sounds like something you and your partner may be interested in please give me a call today at 408-768-1864

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What does your life look like in 2015?

1/7/2015

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The beginning of a new year is famously known as a time for new goals and hopes for our future. There is something about starting a new year that gives us a little spring in our step- have you noticed that even the thought of changing our lives in a positive way is energizing?! Giving yourself a second to think of what you really want out of life (often in the midst of a day where you serve others) is a sweet retreat for our minds and on a deeper level, our spirit.

My question to you is what do you want out of your life? What thoughts about changing your life make you energized and excited to wake up and face the day?

I stumbled upon an amazing passage from Oprah Winfrey the other day and I feel as though it is very applicable to these big life questions.

A Passage From What I Know For Sure by Oprah Winfrey:
    Maybe you're like so many women I've talked to over the years who have suspended their deepest desires in order to accommodate everything and everyone else. You ignore the nudge-that whisper that often comes in the form of emptiness or restlesness-to finally get on with what you know you should be doing. I understand how easy it is to rationalize: Your mate and your children need you; the job that you admit makes you miserable demands so much of your time. but what happens when you work hard at something unfulfilling? It drains your spirit. It robs you of your life force. You end up depleted, depressed, and angry.

    You don't have to waste another day on that road. You can begin again. Starting over begins with looking inward.
                                                                            -Oprah Winfrey

That passage is a goal of my practice, to help you design a life that is one that you are proud of and empowered by living. You don't have to wait for the next New Year's Eve to make a change. Every morning when you wake up it is a chance to change your life in a way that you know you need and deserve. I am here to help you do that, all you have to do is call.
Feel free to contact me for a free phone consultation. 408.768.1864

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the love affair with "busy"

11/26/2014

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Picture
When was the last time you asked someone how they were doing and the answer they gave you didn't in some way express how busy they were? When was the last time you were asked the same question and gave an answer that didn't involve how busy you were?

Personally, I have noticed that so much of our lives are wrapped up in expressing to others or to ourselves just how busy we are. Sure, this world requires a lot of work to stay a float-that's absolutely true. But when we enhance this fact by driving it home to our brains just how busy we are all the time we are sending a very dangerous message to our brains, bodies, hearts; we are sending a message of STRESS. The constant message of stress is a dangerous one to make habit. I'm not going to get in to the nitty gritty of the negative effects of stress on your body because, a) you've probably heard many of them b) if you google "negative effects of stress" you will have plenty of reading material.

But what I do want to look at is, why do we love "busy"? After much thought about how I fall in to the trap of claiming busy-I have realized this: our brains want something to process....all. the. time. And if we dont give it to them they will figure something else out for themselves and run with it. Therefore being busy is present when we mindlessly move through our to do list and if we aren't mindful our brain wants something to do so it latches on to busy and claims it...and runs with it...and grows it...until you feel like you are busy. Not just busy for now but busy for-ever-busy is who you are!

I have made a decision for my own life, I try to be mindful and give air time to the other things I am-other than busy. When busy is a real thing in my life I embrace it for what it is but I can no longer let it infiltrate the rest of my life. Because as humans we are so much more than our stress-we are grocery shoppers picking out the perfect red bell pepper, we are parents teaching our kids how to tie their shoes, we are runners sweating it out on the treadmill to our favorite song-to many all of these things can become "busy" and eventually "stress" if we aren't watching. Sometimes it just what it is....and a lot of the times it is so much more than "BUSY". If you would like to learn some tools to help you transition from busy to living I can help you!

Give me a call or shoot me an email and we can start getting your life back from busy!



*Click photo for photo credit
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Mindfulness....what is it?

11/5/2014

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If you have taken a second to look around my website you may have noticed that I am a big fan of "mindfulness"; it is true-I love mindfulness. I use it personally in my day to day life/relationships with others and I use it with my teen and adult clients as well. This is all well and good if you have previous experience with mindfulness-but if you don't? You have no idea what I am talking about.  I wanted to take a second to address the question, "what is mindfulness"? Some have asked me if it is a religion? A cult practice? A bunch of hocus pocus?

Great questions!

Mindfulness is not a religion, a cult or many scientific studies support that it isn't hocus pocus either. Mindfulness originated in ancient meditative practices but it is very applicable to our modern world.

According to John Kabat-Zinn Mindfulness is:
"mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non judgmentally." 

That's a big statement but let's break it down in to smaller bits. When I am working with a client I often notice that people are troubled by thoughts that are not in the moment; often they are possible outcomes that may be days and even years away-or not at all. So when using mindfulness with my clients I try to pause the thoughts and assist the client in paying attention to the moment we are in in a calm and supported way. Next, I help them look at their feelings and thoughts that were just running wild-we take a calm approach at looking at how the thoughts are real in this moment-and most of all we are kind to ourselves for thinking those thoughts-you wouldn't believe just how judgmental we can be...to ourselves!

Still a bit stumped?

Above describes the overarching goal of using mindfulness in therapy-but you may be wondering HOW?

Well, there are a number of ways to slow down the anxiety in our brain. The most common ones I use are various/specific meditation techniques (both in and out of the office), helping clients cultivate gratitude for themselves and the present moment and becoming more aware of how our body stores stress on a daily basis-just to name a few. These are just some of the techniques I use in order to help people become in control of their thoughts instead of their thoughts controlling their life.

Ok you've made it this far, you may be wondering WHY?
Have you ever driven home and not remembered anything about how you go there? Or have you had a strange stomachache or a twitchy eye that you can't escape? Have you found yourself looking everywhere for your missing cell phone only to realize that you are talking on the missing cell phone?

You wouldn't believe how good this can feel! Some positive results of mindfulness can be:

  • Recognize, slow down or stop automatic and habitual reactions.
  • Respond more effectively to complex or difficult situations.
  • See situations more clearly
  • Become more creative
  • Achieve balance and resilience at work and at home
(Courtesy of Mindfulnet.org)

Still have questions? Do you think you could benefit from mindfulness?
Feel free to give me a call for a free phone consultation!




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Breaking Up Is Hard TO Do

7/22/2014

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Sure, there were reasons for breaking up-either by you or them but the truth of the matter is that breaking up is hard to do no matter who's idea it was. The process of going from "us" to "me" can include many emotional fluctuations wherein one moment you are fine and then the next moment you are in tears because you heard a certain song on the radio.

But the fact is that all of this unpredictable behavior is normal- in fact grieving the end of a relationship can look an awful lot like grieving a death. Psychology Today has an article out about "The 7 Stages of Grieving a Breakup". When you are in the midst of grieving a break up it is hard to imagine that you will ever be the same again-let alone ready to date again! But you can, you just have to be kind to yourself (easier said than done, I know). Beating yourself up for the feelings you are having just delays the healing process. Feelings doing go away just because you said so. Sure, they may abate for a little bit but if they have not been fully seen they will come calling again.

If you are ready to let your feelings be seen and heard in a safe and supportive space so you can move on with our life (dating or otherwise), please give me a call for a free phone consultation.
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What I Wish You Knew About Therapy

6/23/2014

 
If you have taken a second to look through the pages of my website I think it is pretty clear to see that I love my job. I am passionate about helping others live a life they are proud of and excited about.  Unfortunately, not all people see therapy in such a positive light.  Most of these negative opinions come from those that have never even come to therapy-ironic, no?

But in all honestly, I understand the hesitation and unease that people have around coming in to therapy-it can feel like a vulnerable position to be in. There are many misconceptions about therapy. These misconceptions are preventing people from getting the help that they need. There is a wonderful article over at Mind, Body, Green that speaks to many of these misconceptions, I strongly recommend you check it out -HERE-

Once people make it in to therapy to see me I hear a common fear that has kept them from therapy: They are ashamed of their pain and they fear being pitied.
Well I can honestly tell you, I am not in the business of pity - empowerment, insight, support-YES! Pity? Not even a little.
In my opinion, your pain tells me one thing: That you are human. It isn't a matter of if/what life throws at you because life happens to all of us in different ways-it is a matter of what you do about it.

If you have any questions about what I discussed here or you feel ready to take the next step in your healing, please feel free to contact me for a free phone consultation.

May Is National Mental Health Month

5/16/2014

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Sometimes it is hard to keep up with which month represents what-but I know for sure the May is Mental Health Month. Mental health is something so personal and yet it affects everyone one interact with in one way or another. When you feel better inside you tend to enjoy interacting with others more-and the opposite is true as well. But the best part of feeling better mentally? You enjoy being with yourself more too!

Allowing yourself a safe place to express your thoughts and feelings is a true gift. Peace of mind is priceless and all it takes is finding the courage to make that first call to get help.

This article from the website, MentalHealthAmerica.net is a wonderful resource for recognizing the signs that you or a loved one may benefit from working with a therapist.

If you think I may be a good fit for you please don't hesitate to give me a call for a free phone consultation.
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8 Signs You Should See A Therapist-Huffington Post

5/8/2014

 
A couple of months ago the Huffington Post posted a very interesting article about the top 8 signs that it may be time to come in to therapy. (You can see the whole article here).
The message that really stood out to me about the article is how it is not usually our natural inclination to seek help-somewhere along the line modern humans have hardwired ourselves to numb and ignore what our heart and minds are seeking. As hard as we try to ignore what is hurting us privately, that pain will keep showing up until we attempt to heal it. What I love about the Huffington Post article is it gives concrete examples of how we are asking ourselves for help-even if we don't realize it. 
According to the Huffington Post article here are 8 Signs that seeing a therapist may be helpful for you at this time in your life:
1. Everything feels Intense
2. You've suffered a trauma and everything feels intense
3. You have unexplained and recurrent headaches, stomach-aches and a rundown immune system
4. You're using a substance to cope.
5. You're getting bad feedback at work.
6. You feel disconnected from previous beloved activities
7. Your relationships are strained
8. Your friends have told you they are concerned

Do any of these feel familiar to you?
If so, feel free to contact me via email or phone to make an appointment.

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